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Eulogy contest. Closed... ;-).


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;):ninja: One of my snakeys suffered a sudden and untimely death today. Whoever comes up with the best snakey eulogy before my next day off (hopefully, that will be Sunday) will get all the coins and notes I pull from circulation before then that I would normally snag for my compulsive hoarding. This would normally include at least one or two star notes, some half dollars, war nickels, wheaties, and other random junk... feel free to write as many entries as you like, in any tone you like (tear-jerkers and jokes are equally welcome).

 

 

 

 

(P.S. Dan--- any mention of a mongoose will disqualify your entry ;) )

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We Gather here to Remember the Good snake (insert snakes name here.) Slithering with the best. eating pinkys with true gusto and never giving any trouble in Handling. . We will miss you Poor (insert snakes name here.) You were truly a wonder to behold and now as you slither in the Great Snake heaven Stalking Mice and other evil Vermin we lay you down to rest. . . ( insert a moment of silence here for dramatic affect Broken up by a few sobs of sorrow.)

Alas Poor (insert snakes name here.) We did not know you as we wise we had. Your fellow snakes shall morn your passing as will the other animals here. . . ( pour ashes over the head at this point and sob very loudly. . . This should get the younger members real good and get the sobing to flowing) Now we lay you down to the deep eternal sleep that comes at the end of all life. ( Say a Short prayer) End my singing " in the sweet by and by."

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Assuming Venna was a female:

 

"Alas! who can realize that Venna is dead! Who can realize that never again that majestic form shall rise in the tank of her repose to beat back the storms of anarchy which may threaten, or pour the oil of peace upon the troubled billows as they rage and menace around? Who can realize, that the workings of that mighty mind have ceased -- that the throbbings of that gallant heart are stilled -- that the mighty sweep of that graceful tail will be felt no more, and the magic of that eloquent tongue, which darted as no other tongue besides, is stopped – stopped forever!

 

Who can realize that freedom's champion -- the champion of a civilized world, and of all tongues and kindreds and people, has indeed fallen! Alas, in those dark hours, which, as they come in the history of all snakes, must come in ours -- those hours of peril and dread which our land has experienced, and which she may be called to experience again -- to whom now may her fellow snakes look up for that counsel and advice, which only wisdom and experience and patriotism can give, and which only the undoubting confidence of a nation will receive?

 

Perchance, in the whole circle of the great and gifted of our land, there remains but one on whose tail the mighty mantle of the departed ophidian may fall -- one, while we now write, is doubtless pouring her tears over the bier of her sister and hr friend -- sister, friend ever, yet in natural sentiment, as far apart as party could make them. Ah, it is at times like these, that the petty distinctions of mere owner/pet disappear. We see only the great, the grand, the noble features of the departed snake; and we do not even beg permission to bow at her tail and mingle our tears with those who have ever been her tankmates -- we do [not?] beg this permission -- we claim it as a right, though we feel it as a privilege. Venna belonged to her tank -- to the world, mere ownership cannot claim snakes like her. Her life has been national – Venna’s fame has filled the earth -- her memory will endure to `the last syllable of recorded time.'

 

`One of the few the immortal names That were not born to die,' "To the ardent patriot and profound statesman, she added a quality possessed by few of the gifted on earth. Her eloquence has not been surpassed. In the effective power to move the heart of ophidians, Venna was without an equal, and the heaven born endowment, in the spirit of its origin, has been most conspicuously exhibited against intestine feud. On at least three important occasions, she has quelled our civil commotions, by a power and influence, which belonged to no other snake of her age and times. And in our last internal discord, when this home is trembled to its center -- in old age, she left the shades of private life and gave the death blow to fraternal strife, with the vigor of her earlier years in a series of tank efforts, which in themselves would bring immortality, by challenging comparison with the efforts of any snake in any age. She exorcised the demon which possessed the body ophidian, and gave peace to a distracted land. Alas! the achievement cost her her life! She sank day by day to the tomb -- her pale, but noble tail, bound with a triple wreath, put there by a grateful owner. May Venna rest in peace, while her spirit goes to take its station among the great and good snakes who preceded her!"

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Hhhissssssssssssssssssssssss... <slither> Venna hisssssssssssssss hissss hissssssssssss <slither> hisssssssssssssssssssssssss <flips tounge> hissssssssss hissssssssssssssssssss hissssssssssssssssssss hisssssssssssssssssssssssssss his hissss hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <tear>

 

Hissssssssssssssssss Hisssssssssssssssssss hissssssssssssssssssssss hsssssssssssssssssssssssss hisss hissssssss hissssssssssssssssssss Venna Hissssssssssssss hissssssssssss hisssssssss

 

<pause>

 

Hissssssssssssssss Hisssssssssssssssss Venna hisssssssssssss hisssssssssss hissss hisssssssssssssss

 

<moment of sience>

 

Hisssssssssssss Venna! Hisssssssssssssssssssss!

 

Hisss Venna hiss hisss hisss hissssssssssssssssss.

 

Hisssss in Hissssssssss Venna

 

-Bobby

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Hhhissssssssssssssssssssssss... <slither>  Venna hisssssssssssssss hissss hissssssssssss <slither> hisssssssssssssssssssssssss <flips tounge> hissssssssss hissssssssssssssssssss hissssssssssssssssssss hisssssssssssssssssssssssssss his hissss hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <tear>

 

Hissssssssssssssssss Hisssssssssssssssssss hissssssssssssssssssssss hsssssssssssssssssssssssss hisss hissssssss hissssssssssssssssssss Venna Hissssssssssssss hissssssssssss hisssssssss

 

<pause>

 

Hissssssssssssssss Hisssssssssssssssss Venna hisssssssssssss hisssssssssss hissss hisssssssssssssss

 

<moment of sience>

 

Hisssssssssssss Venna! Hisssssssssssssssssssss!

 

Hisss Venna hiss hisss hisss hissssssssssssssssss.

 

Hisssss in Hissssssssss Venna

 

-Bobby

 

18.gif  :ninja:

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I never knew Venna as a Snake, but I did know her, as part of a contest, and oh, what a contest it was. People would make up a eulogy for the dearly departed. Even though nobody who entered had ever seen the Snake in person. Fun times, indeed. RIP.

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Okay, Abish, more details, please. I've been mulling over this post and there are too many missing pieces. What type of serpent was Venna? He or she? Color or markings. Personalities details...throw us a bone. I'm usually pretty good at this kind of thing but I'm drawing a blank.

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Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning, that we are pardoned.

And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

 

Saint Francis of Assisi

-- The Patron Saint of Animals

 

Abish, I know it is not my work, just fitting. Sorry for your sudden loss. It is hard to lose a member of the family, even when they are our pets. :ninja:

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In this life, it is said, that all of us have only enough true friends to count on the fingers of one hand.

 

Those who have not had a pet as a member of their family do not understand why pet owners are able to count more fingers.

 

A pet can be a confidante when you have a secret you can't trust a human with.

 

A pet can show sympathy without saying a word.

 

A pet can bring you joy with their antics and interacting with you.

 

Venna has done all of these things and many more and we feel proud to count her as a friend.

 

She will be missed but remembered fondly.

 

Godspeed, good Venna!

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