I was going to bid on a coin, but then realized that the high bidder is someone who has been a mentor to me. It doesn't seem right to bid against him.

It would be a more difficult decision if it I needed that coin to complete a set, or if it was rare. This is a nice example of a scarce coin in my general area of interest.

If our situations were reversed, he wouldn't recognize my auction identity and would certainly bid against me. Too bad I figured out who he was.

Is there any standard etiquette for bidding against friends? This is likely to happen again.

i say you want it bid for it ...if it was my frnd ill beg xD lol an call him "noob" (ehh "newbie" lol its like our nickname for each other im a noob an he is 1 2 ) an we will play monopoly who wins gets it (i always win ...so ill get it xD lol but the game is fun with both of us cheating eheh) or ill make a deal that i buy the coin cause i need it more an he can come over an look at it when ever he wants eheh , plus a bunch of other stuff...in the end illget the coin if i need it more then him but if he really wants it ill let him have it or act like i want it more an buy it an then give it 2 him as a gift eheh

There was a post started by Kuhli somewhere which I can't quite remember where but I think Elverno had a more dramatic story to it.

now only thin is ...he doesnt collect coins xD lol his hobby is building lego stuff ...ehhh an he has a box full of coins he only gave me 3 coins out of it >_> grrr lol

if it was me an i really want it ...ill bid for it an tell him it was me who bid cause i really need the coin im sure if he/she doesnt want it they will let you bid ...but if they need it ...good luck

This is one of those tough calls. I'd say that you should go ahead and bid whatever your max would have been if you did not know the other bidders.

As a seller, my opinion of bidding is like voting in Chicago, bid early and bid often! As a buyer, I can see the dilemma, perhaps if it's a coin you truly want, why not talk to your mentor about it? He may feel more ambivalent than you do about it, otherwise you can just wait in the wings and see if he gets outbid, then you are free to jump in.

In the realm of Scottish banknote collecting, on eBay, I know probably 75% of the potential bidders, some of us compete in friendly ways, but there are a hardcore group of us that will not bid against one another, but it is a first birdie bidder gets the worm scenario. So it makes us check up all the time for the goodies, to be the first to take the goods.

There really is no standard etiquette beyond knowing your potential competition and coming to your own understandings.

Unless I really want (or need) the coin(s), I tend to step out of the way if someone else seems to want it more. It's probably because I have a lot more holes to fill, and will settle for the bargains for now, and then when I have less holes, I'll need to get more specific in my searches and be more aggressive in my bidding. If I know the other bidder, I'll gauge how much he/she wants it and if my desire isn't as much, then I'll step aside. In every case (so far), I also know that the same coin will come up again soon enough, so there are plenty to go around.

I had one situation on another board where I outbid someone on one auction and he outbid me on another (same day). We both just accepted that we'd each win one and each lose one. Worked out well for both of us, but it was non-verbal. I ended up buying a hole box of his extras, and I don't regret the money spent on them either.

I know I've seen this topic addressed somewhere, but I can't find the thread. Maybe Elverno can tell that story again...

To me it always depended on who the other person was. I mean there are some friends of mine, that if they were bidding on a coin - I'd double my bid just to beat them. Of course they would do the same thing to me. But it was always in a fun and competitive spirit. With others, I'd step away and wouldn't even bid.

So no, I don't think there is any standard etiquette. The etiquette is determined by your relationship with the other person.

Found it: http://www.coinpeople.com/index.php?showtopic=11986

I am a ebay sniper, I just lose to often when bidding early. I wait till 10 to 12 sec are left and bid. If its a item or coin I really want I will have 3 windows open with 3 diff bids. I've been known to place 3 bids within 6 to 8 secs in the past if I am out bid! But most of the coins I search for on ebay and buy are BUY IT NOWS.

I get about half my coins from ebay. 40% from local coin dealers and some coin shows. The last 10% of purchase come from coin forums like this one.

Guys like you are pretty unpopular with some people that have a real problem with sniping.

But I like to do sniping too, it is my preferred method of bidding, my best so far was 0 seconds, but then I have blown it a few times too.

Now that you mention it, I can see the fun in bidding against some of my friends. It does seem to depend on the circumstances. In this particular case, I'd rather see my friend win this coin, and he isn't the kind of person who would revel in competing with me.

Hehe... fascinating - my opinion is if it's a friend you're bidding against, work out who wants it most, you should back down if they really want the coin for a collection and you just want it either for ego or financial reasons. If this was a mentor, show the old dog who is boss

I don’t believe that there is any form of etiquette involved in coin bidding, written, implied or imagined.
It is no form of disrespect to outbid a mentor or anyone else of your knowing.
To the victor go the spoils, bid away!

The answer is to never look at other bidders. Concentrate on the item and price YOU wish to pay!

Hehe. I ALWAYS have a dramatic story... My kids say the family motto should be "Never let the exact truth get in the way of a good story." But I've never figured out what the Latin would be for that.

The true story is that my mentor, dying of cancer though I didn't know it, noticed that I was trying to acquire this medal on eBay and started bidding against me. He used two or three different handles on the Bay and this wasn't one I recognized. He kept bidding, I kept bidding, the price went up and up. Finally out of pure frustration I quit. About three weeks later the medal showed up in the mail, sent by my friend. Sigh...

Another three weeks or so and he died. I only became aware of his illness about 2 days before and couldn't arrange an airline ticket to get to him in time. We corresponded for over four years, I have literally thousands of his emails archived away. But we never met. When he knew the end was upon him his sister said he was determined to send me something I wanted. A good man and one of the great collectors of Napoleonic Medals. I still host his site and correspond every once in a while with his sister.

I have never been in the situation as I dont know many people and have never, to my knowledge, bid against someone I knew. If I DID see someone I knew bidding for something, I would probably let him have it, or ask him not to bid against me (if I wanted it real bad) and tell him I will owe him one...

Of cours like most buyers (maybe even more because I am a cheap bastard) I dont want to pay a cent more than I have to and preferably less than the coin is worth, certainly not more...so any way I can avoid bidding against anyone...I am all for it. I dont like flippers and middle man profiteers so I also will avoid these when I can...if I see the coin has been bought recently at a lower price and now trying to be sold higher...I have found dealers with 2 accounts...one account to buy coins, another to jack up the price and sell them...one is a shill for the other...scum.

I am one of those people who do not like sniping...but then again...I am mainly against third party sniping...if you are going to sit there watching an auction to the last second and then do it yourself...more power to you...

I know people say 'bid your highest offer then forget about it and if you lose it to a sniper and you didnt do this then it your fault' but most people might see this advice the way I do...not realistic. I bid once on an item to get it in my list, often with days left on the auction...I bid as low as possible...now later on I might change my mind and be willing to go higher...but I dont like putting my highest bid in early simply because I dont want to put a high bid in and have someone bump it 5 times trying to outbid me only to stop 2 cents below my highest bid...I would rather them out bid me and let me come in and reassess...and sometimes I just change my mind and decide I am willing to pay more...snipping takes away this ability but...Also I dont like putting in a top bid just in case I think I am being shillled I can let the shill have it (this has happened often) I lose most auctions to snippers...but I wont change how I do things because of them...

If I know I want the item badly I will put in a bid close to the actual value and leave it...if I want to get it cheap I will bid low and bump...mostly losing to snippers....

That story was worth the wait. I can practically hear your mentor cackling away as he continued to outbid you. He must have been an extraordinary person, to be dying and still playing evil (but generous) tricks on his friends. I'm sorry you weren't able to meet him.

Great story Elverno.

If I knew the other bidder, it would certainly affect my bidding. I'd probably bid my normal bid plus 10%.

Truthfully, I almost never pay enough attention to the bidder lists to know if I know someone or not. When I frequented RCC, when a seller listed an auction ad, you could just about guarantee that the first half dozen bidders would all know each other from the group if it was a low start price. And more often than not, the last couple of bidders standing would know each other too. I never heard of it causing a problem.